Monday, April 4, 2011

Belial Bank Emergency Conference Call – Discussing MERS Bailout Legislation | Q-Law Blog

NOTE: The following intro post is from q-law and is written as a SATIRE piece. I spent some time on the phone with the gentleman that wrote this piece. Please take time to click on the title links and read the full articles. ALSO leave a comment to encourage and support the foreclosure defense efforts!

Some of the terms may be new to you. Here are a few definitions, and thanks to Phillip for explaining a few of the terms! : Belial Bank is HELL. B.L Zebub is the DEVIL. Liz Penden is LEGAL NOTICE to cloud title, M. T. Remick is the TRUST vehicle (hope I have that right). 666 is the mark of the beast (biblical prophecy)

Belial Bank Emergency Conference Call – Discussing MERS Bailout Legislation | Q-Law Blog:

 "B.L. Zebub: “OK everyone, listen up. The last time we had a conference call, there seemed to be an undue amount of bickering and finger-pointing between Liz Pendens, representing the title industry, and Dee Faulting representing the lender servicing industry. By the way, Dee, you outdid yourself this month. I heard some of our employees talking about how you saved up thousands of default notices and sent them all out on March 15th. For the Shakespeare aficionados on this call, that’s the “Ides of March”, which, as the soothsayer predicted, was a very bad day for Julius Caesar. Brilliant, Dee, mixing business with pleasure again! Anyway, to save time, I will identify those in attendance besides Dee and Liz. Of course, my trusty “Della Street” is here, Lucy Furr, will be taking notes again for us today. As before, there are to be no recording devices used – we only turn them on to secretly record frustrated"d >>>>KEEP READING .

Other posts you may enjoy!
A Bad Day At The (Foreclosure) Mill | Q-Law Blog: 

Her: “What do you mean?  I remember how happy you were to be selected to work for the Firm.  You said they did legal work for Big Banks.  That sounds pretty impressive to me.  And they do throw great parties!”

Him: “Well, no one ever told me that I’d be supervising a bunch of secretaries and paralegals, teaching them the fine art of speed signing.  And whenever I go to court these days, I’m getting my head handed to me on a platter.  I can see how those judges are looking at me…like some sort of demon.  First, it was Rinegard-Guirma; then Burgett; then Allman; then Ibanez; then McCoy; and now Agard.  Hell, some of these cases the banks are losing have been brought by pro se’ litigants without any attorney. How’d you like to lose a case to someone representing themselves? I’m starting to feel like a violist" >>>> Keep Reading

Belial Bank Telephone Conference Discussing MERS and the McCoy Case | Q-Law Blog: "[Caveat:  As recited on my website,, unless expressed otherwise, all contents are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of my clients.  This post is for entertainment purposes only.  Truth, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. The satire is mine. - PCQ]

As succinctly stated by C.S. Lewis in his Preface to The Screwtape Letters, ” I have no intention of explaining how the correspondence which I now offer to the public fell into my hands.”

CEO: “OK, do we have everyone on the line?  Why don’t we do brief introductions, if we could.  I’m not sure everyone is familiar with each other.  I am B.L. Zebub, President and CEO of Belial Bank. I speak for the Big Banks on behalf of our lending industry.

Voice #1: “Well, OK, I’ll go next.  My name is Lucy Furr, and I’m Assistant to the President.  I work closely with BL.  I’ll be taking notes of this phone conference.  Just so you know, no one should make notes or take any recordings of this conference.  My notes will be compiled into a summary, and after review and approval by BL, they will become our ‘official record.’  However, this conversation is intended to be absolutely confidential and the summary"...>>>KEEP READING

Miscellany | Q-Law Blog: "Chapter 666 – Loan Mod Callers

This Chapter describes how all loan modification phone inquiries at Belial Bank are to be handled, from the first intake call to the last.  No departures from this policy are permitted without the written consent of our bank president, B.L. Zebub.  If you are unable to reach B.L., please contact his personal assistant, Lucy Furr for further instructions.

1. Adopt a tone of complete disinterest. Do not permit yourself to interact with the caller on a personal level.  Avoid at all costs any tone of sympathy, empathy, or compassion.  Words and phrases such as, “I understand,” “Gee, that sounds horrible,” or “Tell me how I can help,” are to be avoided at all cost.  Do not address the caller by their first name.  If any attorney calls, address them as “Attorney ________ “(insert last name).  This approach sends the message"



RobinMiller said...

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